LOST IPHONE

I recently lost my cell phone, and my life has been a mess ever since. How did I become so dependant on such a electronic device. I had everything on that thing. I do not know what is worse the idea that I lost my entire social networking key, or that someone in my office building stole it!

I guess I resorted back to this blog because my other blogs were saved in that phone. Now not knowing the passwords I cannot access them. I find that mildly entertaining.

Speechless

I am absolutely speechless. Looking back at previous blogs I contemplate fate, my life, and how I got where I am.

I thought the relationship I was in was the one. After leaving San Francisco I was happy which perhaps it was the effect of the California air. Six months later we were right back where we started before the trip. Perhaps I didn't realize how unhappy I was because I was so busy. I worked fulltime, taught 5 yoga classes a week, and went to school fulltime 3 days a week. When was there anytime to realize different.

It started in June. School was coming to an break and I had more time on my hands. I began to miss my friends. In other words "the best friend". I contacted him told him I missed him and wanted to see him. A week later a friend the best friends long time friend was on life support. The boyfriend was not at all supportive. He didn't want to be there for me he wanted me to do it alone. So what did I do I ran to the best friend. Seeing the best friend I was lost. I was happy under the circumstances. He made things easier. Just being able to talk to someone and have them listen and respond back was something I didn't realize I was missing. How did I not notice before how anti social the guy I dating was. I watched as we went to dinner we said nothing. If I began to speak he never once looked at me made eye contact and he actually picked up his phone and started texting his friends. I wondered if he tealized how rude be was being. Then I wondered how long he had acted like this.

I decided we had some serious issues and wanted to talk about it. He flipped out and said if I am not happy I never will be. That he loves me as much as he can and if that's not enough then it never will be. He walked out.

At first I thought I was devastated he just walked out and didn't want to work it out. He didn't call me for that weekend and when he did be had nothing to say. I was so angry. He didn't call me on my birthday yet he was trying to work it out. He asked me over for dinner to win me over and threw a hot pocket type deal in the oven fir me but he wasn't hungry and texted on his phone and watched basketball while I ate. It was horrible.

I ran to the best friend. The best friend wine and dined me. He BBQ food that I liked drank wine and sat and talked with me till late hours. 9 months later I gave birth to a girl.

I never ever would have thought the best friend and I would be in this place but now we have a baby. He still makes my heart skip beats. It is strange how he has never been my boyfriend officially yet we have a baby.

He is supportive and has mentioned moving in together. It frightens me but maybe he is what I have always wanted. We shall see. I often contemplate if I made an impulse decision but then I read blogs or notes I wrote about how unhappy I was in that relationship. I just wonder why I didn't get out sooner.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]