Friend Log: New Year's Eve

I decided after delicate consideration that I will take part in a personal log. It may never be used, but I have read documents of cases on abuse where a simple journal or log has saved the lives of some or convicted others. Since the situation is sticky, I would prefer to remain distant, and I want no part of anything. However if ever needed I have a log that might help in the event that it becomes worse.

New Year's Eve: The best friend said he was going to stay in for the night. Strange how staying in going to bed early makes us perceive ourselves as old. Thinking he was too old for the festivities of the night he made his decision, and said he would call later.

Early New Year's Day: The best friend had a drama filled night, and perhaps he had no where to vent. It must be harder for guys to complain to other guys for my guy friends find comfort in venting to me. Is it useful? That I do not know, but I must be doing something correct otherwise they probably would have stopped by now.

Since he decided he was too old for bars and parties a friend was at his house. He said he heard a key in the door and suddenly the ex-wife kicked open the door. Yelling as she broke a picture frame hanging on a wall and glasses around she made him talk.

(I remember how angry she got at him once when I was there back in high school. He was with his friends storming into his parents house slamming doors and yelling she pointed to him and the back room, and said you and me let's go. So this actually was not hard to imagine at all. Not to mention our last encounter at the bar where she just storms into a public place yelling at him.)

He said he went up stairs as she yelled at him. Apparently she thought he had females over, which I cannot figure out if she wants to catch him in the act of something so that she has a reason to blame the divorce or if she is just bitter at him. Since there were no females and she perhaps realized it was not just her house but his as well, she decided she was going to tell the police that he pushed her down the stairs as she stormed out. Nervous that the cops were going to show up and arrest him he cleaned up the broken glass and waited.

I am not sure if this was a cry for help or an actual threat. Strange how two people can be so alike, no wonder they were friends. In high school a friend often threatened guys of suicide if they left or broke up, strange how they remind me of each other.

He said he took back the necklace that he bought her. An expensive piece of jewelry, I cannot imagine that went over too well. Perhaps that is where the indication of the stairs came in out of anger and thought of revenge. The hard part of hearing a story, everyone has their own opinion and views of what happened even the friend present probably had his own thoughts as well if he didn't end up running for cover.

The police never showed, perhaps because she barged into his house at 4am in the morning accusing him of cheating. Later after dropping off the kids she wanted an apology from him. At least according to him he stood his ground. He said words I often thought myself, "I wish I never met you" as I remember times wishing he never met her either. Then I think about the past and even though she is a bit crazy or extreme she perhaps did help him, but how do you weigh that in with all the bad?

Days prior while sitting at the bar he mentioned a time when she tried to run him over with her car. He did not understand then that, that was not normal and that is not an indication of love. So how would he understand now. A busted lip and hurting in front of his parents house he got back in the car with her. I often wonder why women do such things, but him why? Does he not think someone is out there that would treat him with respect?

It breaks my heart listening to his story. I cry over the thought of him hurting. When I heard they were back together I hoped in the back of my heart that they resolved their issues, unfortunately I was wrong. If I had hoped they could resolve their problems, I cannot imagine how she felt or feels or even how he feels wanting something that just is not there. It explained why he had not called in so long, to resolve his relationship he had to make sacrifices and unfortunately our friendship was part of that.

Only in the present will be regret what was done in the past. For my future I hope to never regret what is done today.