Flustered Behavior

It has been a quick minute since I have been on the Internet blog sites. I tried to be a good employee and do my job, yet they seem to frown upon that. I voluntarily asked if I could come into the office this week, and they want to know why. I guess I will not try to work anymore why waste my energy trying when they keep shutting down everything I do. Strange how this company works.

I notice as my frustration builds with work my surrounds suffer. Boggled by the people around me I contemplated if it was them or perhaps me. For a moment I felt trapped, stuck, as if the walls were moving and I could not breathe. Different than perhaps a shut in where they need the walls to survive, I could not wait to be outside amongst the pollution filled noise congested cold air. I feel as if I have been taking it out on my boyfriend the more he squeezes the faster I run. I have been like this as long as I can remember. In fear of commitment or making the wrong choice in anything I do. Hence, why I am so indecisive in anything I do. I thought perhaps it pertained to the moderate to extreme OCD behavior, but then I contemplate if perhaps it is just me.